I'm a full time mom- 24 hours a day.

I'm a SAHM, full time sales rep and I own my own online business... it is challenging and at times insane...

my hours are crazy.. while the baby plays, I work on my bridal company, create quotes for my hospitals, send out text/emails and make sure all my paperwork is kept up. while he naps- I make phone calls and schedule appointments for work.. when he goes to bed- I package my sales and get them ready to ship. if I have to go out and work during the week (2-3 days a week), my husband will work from home or Landon goes to my moms.

Throw in a curve ball- he is exclusively breastfed and when I'm working, I have to pump in my car- 2-3x... that means, when I'm at a hospital, I will sit in a parking lot and pump before my meetings...

life as a mother is already challenging and I do this for my son because I love him... life as an employee, I'm sure I'm somewhat of a burden... I'm 100% sure when they hired me in my mid 20's, they hired someone different than who I am now... but that's what happens. All our sales reps are men. all our sales reps are married with kids.. all our sales reps have wives that stay at home to raise their kids... but here I am- doing it all, best I can...

it has worked really well for me for the last 9 months... heck, it worked throughout my pregnancy... until monday when my company let me know that they needed me to pick up a few extra territories. all the other reps were traveling 2-3 days a week out of state and I couldn't keep up. The job I'm in, it's not cut out for full time moms and I felt a lot of pressure to either abandon my dream about being a mother and keep up with the guys.. at first they said I was unable to grow the territory as much as they wanted- but truth is, I was pregnant last year, I had to keep up my numbers and gain new business that they had lost... and as hard as I tried- I knew, I was being pushed out..

I even told my husband when they changed my pay structure that I felt like they were trying to get me to quit. but I'm not a quitter... so instead, I rode my last wave as a full time employee... and here I am...

a full time mom..

and it is the best decision- its what I wanted and I'm excited. I get to wake up everyday and be his mother all day. I get to see him experience his first.. I get to be the one who teaches him how to become a boy, a man. I am that person and I AM EXCITED!

the funny thing is- it was never about money.. money is not an issue. I haven't had to work since I got married.. it was because I didn't want to be a housewife. but I want to be a mother- a great mother... the best mother out there.

Mommy, employee, business owner, wife, daughter.. Magician.

Well, I went back to work last week and it felt super strange to do so. I did jump right back into it without tears, but I find myself skipping through the hospital corridors daydreaming about my baby. He's just so awesome. A huge part of me is torn, When preparing myself to leave in the morning, I have to remind myself, "millions of moms go back to work.. you can do it.. he will be O.K"... and off I go. Luckily, I work from home 2-3 days a week, so I can still hear his little voice chatting up my husband or My mom.

The biggest challenge about returning to work.. I don't work in an office therefor, pumping has been pretty interesting. I travel with my pump, a car adapter and a cooler. The Medela storage bags are a lot easier to use than the bottles. HOWEVER, if you're not careful while finishing up, it could literally explode on you. I now carry a change of work clothes with me. Luckily, a few months ago, I transitioned into scrubs- easy to change in & out of!

The business has taken a back seat lately. I needed a break to figure out life as a mother. its been really hard to get back into it since I have other priorities.

wife duties... lets just say, my husband is the husband, wife and father. lol he's my super hero. he took over our cooking since I had Landon and I know I'm a little spoiled, but I'd like to let him continue cooking lol. I'm slowly getting back into cooking but the day just passes me by and it gets too hectic!

Overall, motherhood is everything I've been waiting for, Landon has a sweet personality. He cries for 3 things, food, a clean diaper and a nap. Sometimes, I forget that he needs to be held and snuggled because he likes to just lounge around and sleep, play or swing.

Since becoming a mom, I must admit, I admire mothers. It's a challenging job. it's not only a full time job, its a 24/7 ALL DAY job. I admire women who can do it alone and I'm so happy I don't have too! My favorite thing to do, talk with other nursing mothers.. especially at Nordstroms while we're all sitting in the ladies bathroom. lol.

for those of you who are reading this- I'm grateful to have you as followers. I hope this blogs helps all new mommies!

xoxo